He said, "Don't worry, you can substitute matzo meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!" Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem. It was Hanukkah and the tiny village was in fear of not having any latkes because Bogart, Casablancaīy Joe Hample (sung to the tune of "As Time Goes By" from "Casablanca")ĭreidels and chocolate, never out of date.īlue-and-white giftwrap, ain't this country great, As he walks into the house, his mother frowns and asks, "What – you didn't like the other one?" The next time he visits her, he makes sure to wear one.
Why was the broom late to the Hanukkah party?Ī Jewish guy's mother gives him two sweaters for Hanukkah.
What did the older Hanukkah candle say to the younger one? What did the candles say when the menorah complained about getting too hot? What’s the best thing to put into the sufganiyot? One lasts for eight nights, the other sometimes ate knights. What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon? What do you call a speck that falls into the latke pan? What’s the best Hanukkah gift for the person who has everything? How much Hanukkah gelt did the skunk get? He’s the one with his hair in dreidel-locks. Neither, it’s best to light it with a candle. Which hand is best to light the menorah with? I Have a Little Dreidel (the Barking Dog Version).Matzo Man (by the Lower East Side Village People).Enough with those facackennah Jingle Bells Already.Bubbie Yetta Got Run Over by a Reindeer.He thinks we’re teaching him English.”Ĭhanukah Songs that Never Quite Caught On After they paid the bill they asked the restaurant manager, an old friend of theirs, “Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?” The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else will hear and said… “Shhhh. “Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish?” they both thought. They were talking amongst themselves in Yiddish – the colorful language of Jews who came over from Eastern Europe A Chinese waiter, only one year in New York, came up and in fluent impeccable Yiddish asked them if everything was okay and if they were enjoying the holiday. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.” “Grandma, that sounds easy,” replied the grandson, “but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow”? To which she answered, “You’re coming empty handed?”ĭuring the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. I am in apartment 14T.” She continued, “There is a big panel at the door. “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. Last December, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. Miriam says, "Oy vey, has it come to this? Okay, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform." She says to the cashier, "Please may I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?" Miriam goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards one year.
#HANAKUH SWEATERS COME ON BABY LIGHT MY MENORAH PLUS#
To me, it’s all of that, plus a perfect opportunity to share some of the best of the holiday’s humor. To others, it is one of the most festive Jewish celebrations with family, friends, food, gifts and games.
To some, it is a Jewish festival commemorating the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt against the Seleucid Empire. As we all know, Hanukkah can have different meanings to different people.
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